Wilco may be "Walken"... but I'm walken AND talken.

When presented with an assignment of this magnitude, I was left no choice but to pull on all of the knowledge I've recieved from my extensive studies, years of hard work, and mounds of research and information provided to me in the time I've spent working in my journalism classes.
I worked hard to have this "how to" manual live up to the examples of leadership and excellence set before me from reporters in the field. By following the models given to me, reflecting on the work presented in the cut-throat journalist arena, and looking deep within my soul, I was able to find the means to conquer the great task placed before me... In other words, I bullshit the whole thing.

In order to complete the ever-so-easy act of inhaling and exhaling air as well as placing one foot in front of the other, at the same time, one must use his or her brain, prior knowledge of bodily functions, and common sense. This task, commonly known as walking and breathing simultaneously, is easily completed by most, considering one has legs and lungs.
First, one’s brain must decide whether to start walking or breathing first or to do both at the same time. I suggest breathing first.
Let’s start with breathing. Double check nothing in your mouth could possibly block your air pipes. Things such as gum, soda, chips, cigarettes, and marbles should be removed from the mouth area. After this important precaution, slowly inhale the air around you, pulling it deep into your lungs. Hold this fresh wad of carbon dioxide and oxygen in your lungs for a moment. A second or two will do just fine.
Your chest cavity should be aiming towards heaven, which is upwards for those of you Atheists. At this time you may relax your heaven-aimed chest cavity, allowing the now old and dirty air to escape quickly from your lungs.
Now that you’ve got the breathing part down, let’s focus on feet. Once again, the brain must be enacted, and yes, that means multi-tasking, since now we are breathing, thinking, and soon will be walking… all at the same time! It has worked well for most to begin with the right foot if you are right-handed or the left foot if you happen to be one of those creepy lefties. Place your favorite food in front of you, 6-9 inches or so. Then, using extreme caution, lift the other foot and place it 6-9 inches or so ahead of the first foot. Now repeat… over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over… And guess what?? YOU’RE WALKING AND BREATHING SIMULTANIOUSLY!!!!!!! (Now try walking and not breathing and see how far you can go.)