Wilco may be "Walken"... but I'm walken AND talken.

When presented with an assignment of this magnitude, I was left no choice but to pull on all of the knowledge I've recieved from my extensive studies, years of hard work, and mounds of research and information provided to me in the time I've spent working in my journalism classes.
I worked hard to have this "how to" manual live up to the examples of leadership and excellence set before me from reporters in the field. By following the models given to me, reflecting on the work presented in the cut-throat journalist arena, and looking deep within my soul, I was able to find the means to conquer the great task placed before me... In other words, I bullshit the whole thing.

In order to complete the ever-so-easy act of inhaling and exhaling air as well as placing one foot in front of the other, at the same time, one must use his or her brain, prior knowledge of bodily functions, and common sense. This task, commonly known as walking and breathing simultaneously, is easily completed by most, considering one has legs and lungs.
First, one’s brain must decide whether to start walking or breathing first or to do both at the same time. I suggest breathing first.
Let’s start with breathing. Double check nothing in your mouth could possibly block your air pipes. Things such as gum, soda, chips, cigarettes, and marbles should be removed from the mouth area. After this important precaution, slowly inhale the air around you, pulling it deep into your lungs. Hold this fresh wad of carbon dioxide and oxygen in your lungs for a moment. A second or two will do just fine.
Your chest cavity should be aiming towards heaven, which is upwards for those of you Atheists. At this time you may relax your heaven-aimed chest cavity, allowing the now old and dirty air to escape quickly from your lungs.
Now that you’ve got the breathing part down, let’s focus on feet. Once again, the brain must be enacted, and yes, that means multi-tasking, since now we are breathing, thinking, and soon will be walking… all at the same time! It has worked well for most to begin with the right foot if you are right-handed or the left foot if you happen to be one of those creepy lefties. Place your favorite food in front of you, 6-9 inches or so. Then, using extreme caution, lift the other foot and place it 6-9 inches or so ahead of the first foot. Now repeat… over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over… And guess what?? YOU’RE WALKING AND BREATHING SIMULTANIOUSLY!!!!!!! (Now try walking and not breathing and see how far you can go.)

Lucky Ass

The author of novels such as "Kick Ass" and "Lucky You", Carl Hiaasen, grew up in the town of Plantaion, Florida. His history in Florida shows through in his most all of his writings. He saw Florida's population as a mix of greedy business men, shallow women, ill-educated tourists, etc. His work is mostly satirical, save his early environmental thrillers. Hiaasen, an environmentalist as well as writer, was married right out of high school, divorced after nearly 30 years later and then remarried 3 years after his divorce. He is a father to two boys.

Career wise, he has excelled greatly, winning several awards. His writings have been published in 33 different languages, as well as made into major motion pictures. From the 1980's until the present, Hiaasen's satirical style has become increasingly popular, despite pissing off practically the entire state of Florida. (In which I say, Why cares?! DOWN WITH FLORIDA!!!!)

Pizza, I mean, Reading Assignment/Comparison

So I read the handout you gave us in class and the story in the book that you wanted us to compare. The story in the book, Los Angeles Notebook, was a very dark and depressing piece. Although the story was about the weather of California, which is far different from Illinois, I was able to easily able to relate to the dark feelings one can feel due to their environmental surroundings, namely, the weather. The choppy writing style was used to paint a picture of the chaos of the setting of the story. It was a good tool to use, and it certainly gave the piece a confused, hopeless, dark tone. The question I was left with, however, after reading this story is the following... WHAT THE HELL IS A SANTA ANA?!?!?!

Los Angeles Notebook was far different from the handout article I read. Contrary to LA Notebook, this article was uplifting and gave you a feeling of motivation and the desire to better oneself. Its chronological story setting was far more "normal" in comparisson to LA Notbook. And painted the picture of hope, dignity and self-worth as opposed to despairity, helplessness, and isolation.

Bull Run vs. Iraq

These two stories are very different from eachother although they cover the same sort of topic. In the Bull Run article, it is obviously much longer of an article and goes into great detail of what is going on in both sides, etc. It is comprised of long block paragraphs, wordy story-telling, and boring details. The Iraq article, on the other hand, is written in a very action-packed way so as to draw you into the story and make you feel like you're actually there. I, of course, prefer the more recent article on Iraq, but I clearly have a biased opinion considering it's from my own time period.

What I Want To Learn In This Class

Well, I really have no idea so far. I'm just happy to have figured out what class this is called! I would really like to read different literature though and find the differences between journalism lit and lit as I know it. Is journalism literature anything besides just articles written and published in magazines, newspapers, etc.??